2008-03-11 - 1:30 a.m.
As a teenager,I mapped out how I wanted my life to go. I didn't want much for myself. I am the product of two broken homes. My Mother before me experienced the same So what I wanted was simple. I wanted to be married. I wanted to have children by one man only. I wanted to remain married until I died. I wanted my child/children to be raised in a normal family. Well here I am, four months shy of turning twenty eight years, and I have failed miserably. The realization that I will never achieve my goals and dreams is too much to bear at times. I love my daughter with all my heart and I am glad I had her. But what kind of life am I giving her when her Father and I are not together? The same life that I had? A life in which you are told that your parents cared enough to come together and make you-but didn't care enough to stay together? I don't want my child to experience that. I don't want my child to be part of a "Will Smith-Jada Pinkett" extended family. I want her to have the family she was born with. But that is not going to happen. I wish the Lord would take this bitter cup away from me. I know He will do no such things. I just wish He would.
