2008-01-26 - 8:26 a.m.
"When we were together, we never turned our backs on each other,
But now that we're separated, we can't stand one another"- Avant, 'Separated'
It is now January 2008 and things are still in limbo somewhat. While it has been over a year since he decided he wanted a divorce and five months since he left the country, our divorce is not final yet. Mainly because of a stupid back and forth argument over who is going to file the papers. In December 2007 he stated that he had every intention to file the petition for dissoluton by January 20th, and would serve me via FedEx. That did not happen. He has now changed his mind and insists that I be the one to file. At first he claimed it was for pragmatic reasons-me being in Seattle, it would be easier for me to do it. Of course that is a load of crap: all of the forms needed can be obtained online and they can even be filed that way, for a small fee of $4.95 USD. Now he is asking me to file for divorce out of "respect" and "love" for him. I need to be the one to file in order for him to move on with his life. But that is odd, because he has been moving on with his life and I have not interfered at all. He has moved back to his home country. He has the career he has always wanted. He has started several businesses. He is dating the ex girlfriend that he always said he wished he'd married instead of me. So I fail to see how he has not moved on with his life already or how I am blocking him doing so. When I calmly stated that I was not affecting his life and that if he wanted a divorce he could file for one himself, he showed his true colors and started with the bullying and insults. I was being "selfish" and "controlling" for not doing things his way. Now I do not like arguing with him. I don't enjoy bitterness and hostility. 'For better or worse', I have a child with him so I know it is in my best interest to have a calm, positive relationship with him. So part of me wants to file for the divorce in the hopes that it will appease him and make co-parenting smoother. But I have made those types of decisions with him so much-doing something that I really don't want to do in hopes of having peace-and it has backfired every time.
