2005-11-24 - 7:11 a.m.
I woke up this morning more aware of the holiday than I have ever been in my life. Life has changed and fallen apart and is cold in a way that it's never been. Even when my Mom was gone & left me with my Grandma, things never felt this way. As a teen, I'd always greet my Grandma with a kiss in the morning & wish her a Happy Thanksgiving. I'd then call my Mom and sisters and do the same. When I moved out the tradition continued. Every Thansgiving and Christmas wishing my Mom & Grandma a Happy Thanksgiving was the first thing on my agenda. And for the first time in life, I can do neither. The circle and tradition is broken. I have to spend the day with my sisters, but Lord knows that I just want to sit in a dark room on the floor & be alone.
