2004-07-05 - 11:30 a.m.
There's much to be said for simply minding one's own business; not putting your nose where it doesn't belong. Let me explain:
I've been at his house since thursday night. While doing my regular online activities, I decided to look at the pictures he had saved. I honestly wasn't trying to snoop or find anything incriminating(which I didn't). I absolutely trust him. I just like looking at pictures. So I take a peek. See various ones of him, family, friends and his ex girlfriend. The pics of his ex alone didn't bother me. After all, he was with her for three years and it was a serious relationship. So its not as if I'd expect him to get rid of the pictures or destroy them. It was the nature of the pics and the time frame that they were from that bothered me. We're not talking regular, look at me & see what I currently look like pics, okay people? We are talking 'let me showcase my body parts for someone' pics. Nothing crass or tasteless, but it was obvious that they were meant to stimulate. They were from late October 2003...let's look back and see what was going on then, shall we folks? Oh yeah-I was FOUR MONTHS into a pregnancy that I was facing alone & not even speaking to him!! Its not that I felt anything towards her because of them-after all, its not like he was my man at the time. Its the principle of it, as my Mom would say. When I saw them, my alter ego emerged and I thought to myself:
"Oh NO this n*gga didn't.....I was pregnant with his child and he wouldn't even speak to me but was all buddy-buddy with an ex and getting these kind of pics from her and looking at them....what kind of shyt is that? And I was having morning sickness, crying myself to sleep at night, wondering how I was going to explain to my little boy or girl why their Daddy wasn't around, going to prenatal appointments by myself all the fucking time......what the fuck?"
I was really close to asking him about the pics and saying something; it bothered me for a whole day. But then the calm, rational part of speaks up and says:
"Now, hold up girl. Its not like you two were even together then. But most importantly, that's in the past. What can you do about it now? You've already told him how you felt about his actions back then, he's apologized for it all and you two have already rebuilt your relationship. You know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he loves you with all his heart and is committed to you. Like the song says:'Baby don't worry, you know that you've got me'(or him in this case)."
I decided to let my rational side prevail. In the big picture, the pics are very small and insignificant. There's no sense in starting a conflict with my man over it. But this never would've come up if I'd just minded my own business to begin with.
