2004-06-02 - 10:26 p.m.
So, I'm reading this book right now. Its Kinship by Philippe Wamba(RIP). I read it a few years ago-back in 2001 I think, but reading it a second time is really a trip for me. When I first read it, I simply thought it was a really good read, but now, its much more personal for me. The author and his siblings are the result of the union between an African father and Black American mother(I prefer that phrase to African American, but more on that later)-exactly like my little Zora. So when I read of the author's experience and isssues with identity, I can relate and wonder what Zora's life will be like due to her dual identity. Its not that I have any problem raising my child to know both cultures; I actually insist on it. I want her to speak both English and Kiswahili fluently. I want her to spend some of her formative years living abroad, preferably in Tanzania. Unlike myself and the majority of Black Americans, Zora will have the privilege of knowing her lineage, of being able to identify with a specific geographic location and saying:"that's the land of my forefathers". She'll know what her mother tongue is. Since I have been deprived of such rights, its important to me that Zora takes advantage of hers and is immersed in her African roots. On the flip side, I don't want her to ever forget her mother's ancestry either and I will make sure that she has a healthy understanding of and respect for Black American culture. All in all, as long as she has true knowledge about the African Diaspora as a whole, I think she will be just fine. I do worry that she will be confused about her identity at some point and feel that she has to "choose sides", so to speak. I will never put pressure on her to do that and will counsel her against it if it ever comes up.
Life is funny though. I look at the situation I'm in now, the issues I have to face, and I can't help but wonder if certain events in my life prepared me for this. Before Zora was a glimmer in my eye, before I could even vote, I had a jones for all things black, so to speak. There were two pieces of literature I read in the sixth grade that had an impact on me. One was the "Golden Legacy" series. They were short little books, kind of similar to comic books in format. One about King Sundiata piqued my interest. From there, I started looking up info about the West and Central African empires-Ghana, Songhai, Kongo, Kanem-Bornu, etc. The other piece of literature was "The Autiobiography of Malcolm X". It laid the groundwork for my pan-Africanist worldview. There was so much Malcolm X mentioned that I wasn't learning in school. His vehement denouncements of colonialism and his praise of Congolese leader Patrice Lumumba stuck in my mind(initially I thought Lumumba was a female, since Patrice sounded feminine to me), so again, I had to look for the facts. By the time I was twelve, any negative conditioning I received regarding the continent of my forefathers was washed away, due to my own extracurricular research. Reading those two books stared a fire in me that has never been quenched. To this day, I never tire of learning of my diaspora! I once dated a guy who had the Encyclopedia Africana at his home. There would be times I'd go over there and all I wanted to do was read that book. I didn't care to eat or even socialize with others there. I just wanted to seclude myself with that book and ABSORB everything in it.(My birthday is next month, so if anyone wants to get on my good side, feel free to get it for me.....lol!)
But getting back on track now! Dealing with these issues isn't really a problem for me. I've been contemplating them for years and arrived at certain conclusions back then. Marrying & having a family with a brotha from the West Indies or Africa-no problem for me as long as our children are exposed to both cultures. Raising a multilingual child-again, no problem. Living abroad, temporarily or permanently-no problem. I've actually always had the desire to do so, regardless if there was a husband involved or not.I've never really wanted to spend all of my life in the USA. I think I came to that conclusion in my late teens. Granted, I'd miss my family, but I could always visit them every once in awhile.
Don't get me wrong though. I don't have some romanticized, rose colored view of Africa. I know that when/if I do move there, I will experience a culture shock. I know that not all Africans I meet will look at me as long-lost kin; some will be distant at best and blatantly hostile at worse. I know I can never reclaim the identity that was taken from my ancestors. Though my roots are certainly in Africa and I owe most of my culture to the continent, I am a Black American as well, and nothing will ever change that. Since I have the desire to live in Africa or Europe & realistic expectations, I think I'm an ideal candidate to become an expatriate. But I suppose I'm putting the cart before the horse so to speak; we'll see what happens in the next three years.
