2004-04-16 - 3:24 p.m.
Today is turning out to be pretty nice,which is a surprise. Ms Zora is sleep and I'm chilling listening to Earth, Wind & Fire. I remember listening to my Mom bash contemporary R & B when I was a teen. I used to think she was tripping, but as I get older I begin to agree with her sentiments. Few R&B/soul artists are worth listening to nowadays. They can barely sing and lack true songwriting skills....but I digress. Time to get back on topic.
I was NOT in a very good mood this morning. Do you ever have experiences where someone says something to you, and it doesn't bother you at the time....but as you go over it in your mind later, you get really mad? Well that's what happened to me. I saw Zora's father last night(for the first time since August 03). It was my idea, so I can't fault him for that. It was just so awkward for me. I've been communicating with him since March 26th. Not to say that my expectations had risen(because they haven't). I just thought that I'd ask him what his plans were & be able to get a concise answer. After really thinking about it though, I realized that I probably would not get any answer,for he himself doesn't know what he is going to do(was that sentence grammatically correct?Oh well I don't care). Of course I didn't fully realize that till I was face-to-face with him. Silly me.....you think I would've figured that out before. The whole situation got me very riled up, but I had to check myself swiftly. When I was pregnant I envisioned the worst-case scenario(raising Zora as a single mom), accepted it & prepared myself mentally for it. Until I hear anything from him to change that or until I get married, I've got to continue operating under that assumption.
